Thursday, April 13, 2006

The Value Pack

OK, its just time for a little rant. Once upon a time, I used to like getting email. Then the age of spam came along... And I started hating my inbox. After a while, we learned how to manage things and the inbox became a place of possibilities once again.

But of late, I can't help but think that the makers of potency products must be out of their freaking minds. I mean, let's consider the obvious points here.

  • Don't they know that there is literally 564 emails per person per day already advertising their very wares?
  • Aren't they aware that branding their products only now ensures their inclusion in spam filter databases?
  • And honesty, how can they think that after 6,000 recorded years of human progeny from a few thousand people to over 10 billion earthly inhabitants that there is something so wrong with the majority of male virility during the last 5 years that we need everyone to take a special pill to make them "better".
Now-a-days, the idea of a "value pack", is no longer how much great product you get for a low price. No, according to recent emails that I must trust implicitly, a value pack has to do with the great low price on an incredibly powerful formula of potency enhancers that are guaranteed to make me the virility champion of the universe. "Value pack", indeed. I guess my first thought was "what's in your wallet?" And the answer would have to be "the value pack".

I wish, I hope, I pray... That soon, someone realizes that multi-level marketing of these products is so lowly regarded by professionals, so inanely presented by the sales leaches, so vociferously loathed by the public, that the entire thing becomes a massive "dud". What a wonderful stroke of irony and love that would be.

In the words of that princess in a starship, "help us obee-juan, you're our only hope!"

Kim (deconstructor of advertisers) Gentes